Love Magic - An Introduction to my Perspective

This article begins my series on Love Magic. It’s by far the most popular kind of magic (always has been, always will be), some of the most complex, and also in modernity some of the most controversial. This series will explore many different aspects of Love Magic, from my own eclectic perspectives on the matter, using hoodoo to achieve various love goals, exploring why Return and Reconciliation magic can be some of the most difficult, and learning how to draw a suitable long-term partner. Along the way issues of ethics and morality, basic human psychological and behavioral nature, and discussions of various specific spells will be touched upon. As a disclaimer I want to note that the opinions expressed in this series are my own, and are not meant to be representative of any tradition as a whole, or a majority viewpoint of any body of practitioners.

The Love Magic Series

Part 1 - An Introduction to My Perspective

As you can well imagine requests for love work and love spells are pretty much on the top of the list to professional magical practitioners. There’s nothing quite like love and lust to make people completely go out of their heads crazy, and throw all semblance of rational thought and behavior out the window. The very fact that there are spells such as “Love Me or Die” (and it means that quite literally) is a graphic testament to this fact.

Within the mainstream NeoPagan world there is this ideal that no magic should ever be done to influence the will of another and one of the biggest taboos is doing love magic in order to win a specific person. Going into a comparative diatribe of varying magical ethical systems is a huge topic unto itself that will probably get some blog time here eventually. Today is not the time or place for that discussion. However I will speak briefly the ideas of influencing a person magically in order to receive romantic attention from them.

For one thing, magic cannot create something out of nothing. It works by manipulating possibilities. If no such possibility exists, then no amount of magic can birth it into existence. If we look at magic as a manipulator of chance, then we need to look at manipulators of chance in general in order to gain a realistic perspective of how “ethical” the application of magic to romantic situations is or is not. Let’s start small and with an example that applies directly to our topic – with the hypothetical situation that you are a woman going out on the town with the intent of hopefully finding a new lover.

Chances are pretty good that you do not go out hair all a-tangle, in your sweat pants and t-shirt, and your face au natural. You know that, generally speaking, presenting yourself in such a way does nothing to increase the probability of attracting a mate. So to work probability in your favor you shower, spend time getting your hair looking lovely, put on some make-up to flatter your features and downplay any perceived faults, put on a push-up bra, maybe pull on a pair of Spanx, slip into a dress that shows a little cleavage and maybe some leg, don some heels to accentuate your legs and add some feminine mystique, apply a little alluring perfume, and then set out. You have just been working to manipulate the perceptions of any men who may see you that night.

If any conversations do strike up with potential lovers that night, I bet that you also do not conduct yourself in the same manner as you do with your best friend of 20 years. It’s much more likely that you do your very best to put forth a very idealized and sanitized version of yourself. Again, you are working to manipulate the perception of yourself by these men. If you do end up seeing one of these suitors again, I would bet that for at least the first couple of dates, if not weeks and months thereafter, you do your best to maintain this façade of the “best you”, only letting it drop a little at a time. By continuing to put forth this “best you” you perpetuate the manipulation of his perceptions of you, with the hopes that this will keep his attentions. Most will make an effort to learn the likes and dislikes of the new partner, in order to play to these in an attempt to gain further favor over the coming weeks, despite whether or not they actually like or dislike those things themselves. Some very ambitious individuals even take this whole process of possibility manipulation up a notch and study body language and subtle verbal communication. This works to influence their dates more subconsciously, by working on their more instinctual impulses and judgments. It’s all part of the established game.

This is the typical set of behaviors that probably 95% of all people demonstrate when they are looking for, and beginning a relationship. Is all this dishonest and unethical? It certainly contains a great deal of manipulation. However, no amount of make-up, water bras, or personality polish can make someone fall for you if there is no chemistry whatsoever. So really all of that just helps you reel in appropriate candidates, correct? To push things around into your favor a bit more, and in help increase your chances that you will be successful in your “hunt”.

Using magic is not much different. It is simply working to manipulate things on a more subtle level, rather than relying on visual clues, foundation garments, or canned conversation. Each situation that we enter into has a set of possible outcomes, each with their own statistical probability of coming to pass. Each word, action, and reaction alters the statistics until one wins the majority and comes to pass. Magic can help tilt the odds to the favor of one particular outcome. So, in my opinion, making a broad-sweeping statement that “using love magic to try and win a particular target is always unethical and a form of ‘black magic’” is pretty naïve and short-sided. If you think that’s the case, then I dare you to go out to a club bare-faced in your pyjamas and making sure to inform each person that may approach you of all your neurosis in the first sentence that you speak to them.

That being said, I understand why such statements have been made. As I said in the opening paragraph of this article nothing will turn people into irrational nut cases more quickly than love and lust. Far too many people get caught up in using love magic obsessively on a desired target – even when all signs, results, and divinations have shown that it is simply not going to work out, and even after professional workers have strongly advised them to cut that person out of their life and instead work on drawing a suitable partner. They will spend months working one spell after another, and spend hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars on spell kits, magic supplies, getting readings, and in some unfortunate cases in employing the services of scam artists who prey on the hopes of the love-lorn by promising results at a very high price. But the old saying is true that says “the heart wants what it wants”.

Sadly, in many cases, the heart is plainly idiodic. Using a scare-tactic, such as saying that it’s evil and will rebound in untold horrible way upon if you do so, is a great way to attempt to keep people in line. Just look at the threat of the brimstone and demon-infested fiery Hell that has been such a popular socio-political and morality control mechanism for the past thousand or so years. (It may also be valuable to note the overall success rate of this tactic. You end up with a lot of very frightened and repressed people who still behave badly, but feel just awful about it - once they get caught.)

My personal philosophy on love work goes thusly – go ahead and try for the person you desire. We all know that you’re going to do it anyway, so we might as well be honest about it. There are plenty of gentle and non-coercive love spells that will greatly enhance your chances or winning the affection of said person if there is a real possibility for you to be with them. This can help skew the odds in your favor and give you a chance to try your hand at a relationship with the person, or get you some hot and heavy lovin’ with that sexpot. Of course, said spells do not guarantee that the relationship will actually work, or that your fling will last. That is the responsibility of the two people in the relationship to navigate. If the personalities simply clash there’s really nothing to be done about it. Magic cannot change a person’s basic nature.

If after trying for a while for a specific person – and I really don’t recommend spending more than 3 or 4 months trying for a target – you are not getting the results that you had hoped for, it’s in your best interest to admit defeat, do your best to cut your ties with that person, take a bit to heal, and then move on. In my opinion, if nice tricks like honey jars or a Come to Me spell kit do not turn the tide, then you are MUCH better off turning your attention to attracting a suitable partner. Escalating work into the more coercive, controlling, binding, or torturous routes is just wasting your time and energy on what is obviously a lost cause. You may keep drawing them back, but chances are whatever keeps breaking things up, will continue to break things up. You’re playing a losing game, and all the time and money and magic is not going to change that. Cut ties – move on. Everyone will be happier for it.

In my practice as a magical practitioner, I will not help people pursue love cases that are not right for them. I know that some workers, even if they have told the client outright that there isn’t any hope for the case, will still agree to help the person continue to try as long as the situation is not abusive or dangerous. I make no judgments on that, because we all know what it’s like to feel desperate for someone and be willing to try to make it work long after the ship has actually sailed. For most people, that experience is instructive. We learn that it just doesn’t do any good to keep trying when all signs point to “MOVE ON, LADY – HE’S NO GOOD FOR YOU!!!” Aiding people through that process is neither good nor bad. It just is. I choose not to participate in it, and that’s just as valid a choice as being a willing part of the process.

While I am happy to consult on love cases when my divinations show that there is a good probability that things can work out in a way that would be beneficial, and to provide instructions and in some cases supplies for working prescribed love magic, I have also chosen to not do any love work on behalf of any clients, except for crafting custom bottle spells, or mojo bags. I feel that one should win their love – or not - through their own power. I’ll be happy to back-up and lend loving support to their efforts through crafting an item they can work, and I have no issue with any practitioner who takes a more ongoing hands-on approach to helping clients in love situations - but ultimately relationships are something that I feel one really needs to learn to manage on their own. We all need outside advice from time to time, and readings and consultations with reliable practitioners can help provide that. I certainly don’t pull any punches when I give them – in many cases tough love is the best love! But the heavy lifting is something that you have to do yourself. No one can fix a relationship for you.

Sometimes targeted love magic works out to that happy ending that everyone dreams about. But in the majority of cases, it does not. That’s life. Most sexual encounters do not end up as long-term relationship, and even most long-term relationships peter out. Hence why the pursuit of romance is so frustrating! You have to kiss so many frogs before finding that Princ/ess. It would be my hope that eventually people will get to a point where instead of working to draw who they think is the best person for them, they switch to working to draw the person who is actually best for them. Period. And THAT is some very powerful magic that works extremely well. But to work best, it requires that the person doing the work has spent some time really getting to know themselves, and what things they actually need from a partner, rather than just wanting.

Love magic, in and of itself is not evil or bad or immoral. It’s human nature. Can some people get carried away and take things way too far? To quote an unfortunate political figure, “You betcha.” That’s pretty much true of anything. The most powerful love magic is the love magic we can do to benefit ourselves at a deep and honest level. To attract a partner that embodies all the things that we know we need, has qualities that we simply enjoy, they will compliments our personality type and lifestyle, and they will bend over backwards to make us feel amazing and appreciated for being exactly who we are. A perfect partner will receive those same benefits from you, as well! I found my husband through such a spell, and I know others who also found their life-mate through magical work. Love magic can be some of the most meaningful and healing magic that we can perform – we just need to gain a modicum of self-knowledge and emotional sophistication to reap the benefits of it.

I hope that this, and the related articles that will follow it, will be not only entertaining and educational, but thought-provoking as well. Please feel free to subscribe to this blog so that you won’t miss anything in the coming weeks!

Setting Lights - What Is It, and Why Would You Want It Done for You?

Many times in conjure and hoodoo, and sometimes within other witchy contexts you will hear about setting lights, or candle altar services. If you're unfamiliar with the rootwork and folk magic culture these may seem like beautiful and intriguing concepts - so just what does "setting lights" mean?

Setting lights is a lovely service that many magical practitioners offer to the community. Sometimes setting lights is referred to as a candle altar service. Generally speaking, a client will tell a practitioner about their current situation, and the practitioner will decide what color candle and what herbs and oils would be best used to dress that candle in order to have the desired effect on the client's situation.

What the client is getting is a very basic magical consultation, spiritual prescription for a candle magic remedy, and a candle prepared and dressed especially for their case by that experienced rootworker.

Dressing a candle is when magically-potent essential oil blends and traditional herbs that resonate with an specific spiritual goal are rubbed onto or worked into a candle, to impregnate the candle with the desired energies.

The candle is dressed by the spiritual practitioner, while they pray or otherwise channel large amounts of energy for that particular purpose into the wax. The name or initials of the client, or symbols of their goal may be inscribed onto the surface of the candle, and then oils and herbs applied to it as well. The prayers of the practitioner help to awaken the spirits of the herbs that are within the oil blends and also in the dressing mixture, and call them to play a role in manifesting the goal on behalf of the client. The prayers also call upon the aid of the Divine &/or other helpful spirits such as saints and angels, asking for favor to be shown to the situation at hand. The candle may also be impregnated with planetary energies of the day and hour if a practitioner utilizes such in their work. All of this creates a candle that is "programmed" to manifest a very specific intent for the person for whom it is made. Once a candle has been dressed and is ready to be set working, it is referred to as fixed.

A small paper that has the name and goal of the client may also be prepared and will sit under the candle while it burns in order to help personalize and direct the energy even further. Such a paper is called a name paper or a petition paper. Petition papers usually include some form of a formal statement of the desired goal, and the name of the person the candle is meant to aid. Sometimes the name and petition statement will be written a certain amount of times for a stronger effect. In hoodoo 3, 7, 9, and 13 are common numbers used in work - but they are not a hard-and-fast rule. The name will sometimes be written in such a way as to cross the petition statement, which is a way of symbolically claiming power over the situation stated in the petition. If the candle is for money, dollar signs may be drawn upon it in the corners; if it's for love, hearts may be added. This just further solidifies the nature of the energy being summoned into manifestation by the candle. This petition paper will also usually be dressed with dabs of the same oil blend that has been used upon the candle. In some cases some of the same herbs which have been sprinkled onto the candle will be folded into the petition paper to make sure the request is well surrounded by the energies of the oils and herbs.

Sometimes a photo may be used, or a hair or fingernail of the person for whom the candle is being fixed may be also folded up inside the petition paper to make a powerful sympathetic link to that person. Modern quantum theory has shown us that matter that was once part of something will still be effected and be able to effect the original mass of which is was a part, even if it is far away from its source. Using a hair or nail, also called a personal concern, from someone is a very potent energetic link that will help the energy speed to its target without any trouble. Photos and handwriting can also be used very effectively as links, because these do carry an energy pattern closely related to the person, however they are not as reliable as actual personal concerns which come from the person's body. A good practitioner will be able to have some measure of success without having a personal concern, as long as they have the full name of the person for whom the work is being done. Names have power!

Once the candle has been dressed and fixed, and the petition paper prepared and set underneath, that candle - usually a 7-day glass encased vigil candle - will then be set to work by the practitioner there in their own home altar or an altar at their place of business. The practitioner will watch over the candle and see how it burns over the days, as they can often tell alot about how the energy is moving and working by observing the burn and any signs that occur during it.

For example, if a candle burns very quickly, it can indicate that there will be a strong positive result, but that it will not be long-lasting. The practitioner may wish to inform the client that they may wish to back-up their work with something else to make sure the result will last. On the otherhand, if the candle burns very slowly, it can mean that there are delays and obstacles that the energy is having to wade through before being able to manifest. Depending on how the burn finishes and what other signs may be present, it could mean success, but at a weaker level than desired, or simply that it will take longer than expected for the result to manifest. In both cases the practitioner will want to help the client decide if more work is needed for the desired outcome to be reached. However, if the burn is clear and steady, and finishes cleanly, this means that the energy has not encountered any serious impediments, and that all signs point to a successful outcome.

When the candle is through, the practitioner will report back to the client with news of the how the candle burned. This is sometimes referred to as a candle burn report. Often the petitioner paper which was underneath the candle during the work will be returned to the client - they can then bury it on their own property to create a physical link for energy of that work drawing it to their home, or they may carry it with them until the goal has manifested. If the candle burn showed some difficulties, the client may want to schedule to have a full reading and consultation with the practitioner to get a more detailed perspective on the situation, and determine what magical actions should be taken to assure the greatest possibility for success.

Having lights set is a very traditional way to have spiritual work done on one's behalf.

Considering all the work and knowledge that a client can gain through having this simple ritual done by a practitioner, the costs for this service are usually very low. Depending on the base costs that a practitioner incurs from the supplies needed to perform this service (some can afford to buy in bulk, while others pay retail or close to it for their own supplies), the price ranges from $10-30 for the entire personalized 5-7 day service. It is especially useful for those people who wish to utilize magic to influence their lives, but for various reasons are not at liberty to have candles burning in their homes - either for nosy or dissapproving housemates, not wishing to have candles burning 24/7 with a baby or pet in the home, or some other reason. Even if the client is able to work on their own behalf, it can be extremely beneficial to have another practitioner perform this service for them.

For one, it gets a completely separate and potent stream of intent pouring towards one's goals. Some practitioner like to back-up their own work by having another practitioner set lights on their behalf for just this reason. I know I often ask trusted workers to set lights for me when I feel I could use some extra support! It also can provide you with divinations as to how the work is going overall, when you may be doing more complicated work that doesn't present such visible evidence of how the energy is moving and manifesting. Sometimes I will have a worker set a light for me at the outset of a new complex working, just to get a read on the situation as a whole. Hearing the candle report gives me another source of info to work with in addition to my own divinations on the matter.

When having work backed up by having lights set, some clients may request that candles be set on their behalf in runs. This means that once one candle finishes, another one fixed identically, will be set working. This keeps heat on the situation and ensure that energy will be moving towards the goal 24/7 for the duration of the run. Court cases or other legal matters are situations where keeping the work going constantly during the period of time that things are taking place on the physical plane, is one example of when someone might have candles set in runs. Someone having a run of lights set for the healing of a loved one who is chronically ill, or in the hospital, is another example.

Professional practitioners will likely have a much larger inventory of oils and herbs than your average non-pro practitioner, and may also have a wider set of knowledge about which oils and herbs would be best suited to your particular situation. Rather than needing to go out and buy all the necessary supplies, you can have the professional prepare the work for you for you to burn at home. In this case, the candle is still dressed and fixed for your individual needs, but rather than having the practitioner burn it and watch over it, you can take that fixed candle home and do all that yourself. This service requires even a smaller monetary investment than having the light set for you, as the practitioner does not need to watch over your candle for signs for a week. However you still reap the benefits of the practitioner's skills, experience, and inventory!

Some people like to take advantage of this even more by employing a tandem burn. This is where two identical candles will be burnt - one by the practitioner and one by the client. This doubles the output of energy towards the goal, and also provides the service of the candle burn report. In most cases the client can present the finished glass candle jar from their home to the practitioner to get a general read on its appearance, and compare that with the candle burnt on the practitioner's altar for a larger picture of the work at hand.

Having lights set for you is also a great way to establish a working relationship with a magical practitioner. It involves very little financial investment, and with it you can get a good idea of how a practitioner manages their cases, get a feel for their working style, and also get a taste of their skills as a reader of signs. If you enjoy working with a practitioner through the process of having lights set, you will feel more confident in investing more time and money with them in the future for things like readings, consultations, individualized services and products such as mojo bags, bottle spells, etc, and even altar work done on your behalf by them.

I hope that you've enjoyed learning about candle altar services - and that you'll take advantage of enlisting spiritual aid in this way sometime in the future! It really is a unique and powerful experience to be part of, and it can be quite a comfort when times are challenging.

Queen of Pentacles Conjure Shop and Village Witchery offers a full range of candle altar services for nearly any need - aside from crossing/cursing, revenge, break-up, or other aggressive or unjustified coercive work which we won't accept. Having a light fixed and set working for you, and with a detailed candle burn report complete with digital pictures of your candle is $15. We are more than happy to accommodate tandem castings, and setting candles in runs.

Our Setting Lights page provides pull-down menus listing all of the conditions for which we can fix your candle. If you are unsure as to what condition might suit your case best, please do not hesitate to contact us directly before ordering, and we can make sure that you get exactly what you need.